Which is the unluckiest monster in the world?
The Luck Less Monster.

Boy: Mom, why can't I swim in Loch Ness?
Mother: Because there are monsters in it.
Boy: But dad's swimming there.
Mother: That's different. He's insured.

Did you hear about the man who tried to cross the Loch Ness Monster with a goat?
He had to get a new goat.